Pegisha

Twas the weekend of Pegisha, and all through Crown Heights,

The Gauchos wreaked havoc from the very first night.

Fabregging with Yehuda, l’chaims went berserk,

While Jess and Liad hammered away at lab work.

Already hungover at the crack of dawn,

They waited for Rabbi, who slept an hour too long.

And as pictures were snagged on the Staten Island Ferry,

Gloria downed two Fireball shooters in a hurry.

Then they took on the city, but still wanted more.

Amit can calmly convey this to Rabbi, I’m sure.

What’s 30 more minutes? Not like they’d get caught!

Though it seems they lost interest in keeping Shabbat.

The girls lit their candles, the boys got to praying.

They understood not a word those Yeshiva boys were saying.

And at one Shabbat dinner, to help ditch his host,

Isaac fake shit his brains out; it was truly the most!

When they all reconvened, Rabbi had one request:

“Don’t go into the city in the middle of Shabbas.”

This they did follow, and by that, I mean ignore.

They hopped on the subway as he walked out the door.

Their attempt to go clubbing had sadly fallen flat.

So they settled for Taco Bell and called it at that.

Meanwhile, poor Leah had locked herself out,

But no one was ready for Saturday’s bout.

Alarm bells were ringing for Rabbi this Chag,

When only ten people were at the Razzag.

The others were ice skating up at Time’s Square.

“We’ll make it back for Rabbi’s sermon, we swear!”

Meanwhile, as Nicole stumbled into a Satmar,

Jen and other Nic were nearly hit by a car!

And despite AEPi men scattered all round the plaza,

Jasmine was convinced her man is fighting in Gaza.

Where’s Ben and Kiana? Probably together.

While Kayla was starting to look under the weather.

Sivan, Avi, Leah haven’t checked in since Shuul,

And at old 770, Justin’s speedrunning Yeshiva school?

Llona, Eden, Ela, were smitten with Brooklyn.

Though escaping the UK was enough of a win.

And Noam was off making new friends just fine,

Even if he looked faded half of the time.

When our city adventurers had no more to explore,

They found Rabbi waiting for them at their door.

Tensions were high, choice words were spoken,

But the Gauchos refused to leave Rabbi heartbroken!

“Flowers won’t work," said Sam Rappoport,

‘Least they hadn’t panned out for him the evening before.

Stuffed on overpriced sushi, Corelle finally solved it!

“Let’s have a fabregan!” to which Mendy yelled “Lit!”

And then they Iced Rabbi, oh what a surprise!

At that point a little stroll sounded quite nice.

So they danced and they sang with strangers on the subway,

And NOTHING WENT WRONG ON THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE…

That night, the Gauchos returned to the city, 

Sam Erlikhman was busy, just not with SB.

And even though Eman’s Reggaeton was a bust,

At least Rachel didn’t leave Finny in the dust.

As Shoshana and Morgan took on Broadway,

Kevin did Kevin things, as he’d been doing all day.

That’s when Misha found him asleep on a suitcase,

As did Lior, who I assume slept at their place.

Dalia’s voice was waning quite thin

Celine’s still scouting out a man for Jasmine

And also, where’s Julia? Or Lea? Or Paris?

No way Ariel has been “napping” through all this!

Though the Gauchos were groggy that bright Sunday morning,

And Danielle was fighting off mild food poisoning,

We got back to Cali more connected and Jewish

Then ever before, and that’s all one could wish.

So thank you, Rabbi Gershon, for the time of our lives,

And for letting me go on Pegisha three times.

When it comes to Chabad, there’s none like our own.

Don’t believe me? Just go ask #BenBasson!

-Allen Schultz